Pastor pregnant after sex with fiance, says she won’t quit pulpit

Desireé Allen

Desireé Allen

A pastor Desireé Allen,is pregnant after sex with fiance , Tony Elder. Allen, the pastor of arts and spiritual formation of First Corinthian Baptist Church in New York City is not ashamed of engaging in premarital sex. she has vowed not to quit the pulpit.She said she would continue to preach on the altar until she “can no longer waddle on the stage.”

She said she was shocked that she was pregnant  because she had been having sex when she was 15 and had never been pregnant.

“I was pregnant. My immediate reaction was shock. This was not planned. Yes, I know it’s a potential consequence of having sex, but not one readily expected. With the exception of living a pretty much celibate lifestyle in my twenties I had been having sex on and off since I was 15 and had never been pregnant. In fact, I assumed when I was ready it would be very hard for me to conceive. Boy did I miscalculate that,” Allen wrote in a blog post.

Desireé Allen with fiance , Tony Elder. Allen,

Desireé Allen with fiance , Tony Elder

She continued, “What had my stomach turning, other than nausea, was me being pregnant AND a pastor. Let’s face it. The church has not had a good track record of accepting unmarried women who got pregnant. If you’ve been in church for any period of time you’ve heard or witnessed the aftermath. Shunning, slut shaming, being sat down from your position, having to go up in front of the church and confess your sin, etc. etc. No one can be naïve enough to say this type of stuff doesn’t happen in church.

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“An ugly truth is people in church leadership have sex outside of marriage, affairs, do drugs, drink, so on and so forth. Generally, these are not considered acceptable acts. BUT I have seen many churches turn a blind eye to this behavior, because it can be hidden. Don’t ask. Don’t tell. To be pregnant is a very visible indication of a private act and for some reason provides people with more of a need to respond.

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“Often, when people think you’ve done something wrong or have sinned they want you to walk around with your head low in guilt. Otherwise, how would THEY know you were sorry? Well, I wasn’t sorry or ashamed. Shame and happiness cannot reside in the same place. I decided to only surround myself with those who had positive energy. I knew there would be rough days, but I also knew the good would outweigh the bad. So when the first comment was made about my pregnancy being an abomination I wasn’t bothered, because it wasn’t MY truth. Plus who uses abomination anyway? Can we say antiquated?”.

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Allen who is pregnant with twins and will soon be delivered of the babies in January, said she later revealed her pregnancy to the Executive Pastor and church’s staff at an annual staff retreat, but was surprised about their response.

“In a moment I will never forget, our executive pastor had the staff encircle around me and they begin to pray. A noise that can only be described as a wail left my mouth and I broke. To the point of needing a chair to sit in. I broke in the most beautiful way possible. In the breaking I was free. That ugly Jesus cry released every anxiety, fear and worry holding me down. They promised to protect me and support me,” Allen   who is also the director of Harlem’s The Dream Center, wrote.


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